Stop Shrinking Yourself: Why Hiding Your Identity Leads to Burnout
Recently I posted a video on social media where I was wearing my signature style of statement sunglasses, and I received a critical comment about them. It stung for a minute because I am a human being, and I have feelings. And then I moved on with my life because I don’t care about that person’s taste in eyewear.
There are many older versions of me that would have cared way too much.
When I was a little girl, I loved to write fictional stories with plot twists galore, I painted pictures of car wrecks and splattered red paint all over the scene, I dressed up like a rock star complete with a hot pink tinsel wig that I begged my mom to buy for me at Cedar Point amusement park, I crimped my hair, and wore colorful, bright clothes.
But as a grew older, I experienced many situations where I was told that I was “too much.” I felt like something was wrong with me because what my heart desired didn’t fit mainstream society. It became too painful to be rejected and criticized so I learned to shrink, perform and people-please.
Like many of us, I worked myself to exhaustion, chasing approval and external success, trying to be perfect, while secretly feeling empty and unfulfilled. The subconscious mismatch between who I was and who I was pretending to be caused severe anxiety and depression.
When I started my healing journey in earnest after my emotional rock bottom, I was surprised to find that a huge part of the process was figuring out who I really was behind all the masks I had been wearing.
The irony was that when I was wearing the masks, I couldn’t stand being alone and hated my own company, but when I finally returned to my quirky self, I now feel comfortable and safe in my own skin.
Best of all, I feel free. It feels like oxygen after years of suffocation.
Because letting your light shine means being who you truly are and sharing those gifts with the world. Of course, there are people who won’t appreciate who you are as a person. And that’s okay. Unless they have constructive criticism about your integrity or character, it doesn’t matter.
And that’s why it’s so important to create your own rules for life. Society and other people will always have opinion about who you should be and what you should be doing but only you know what lights you up. And if you don’t, I can help you with that.
When you stop outsourcing your worth to other people’s opinions and start owning your quirks, you not only feel free, but you also give others permission to do the same.
When I was a senior in high school, I was obsessed with Urban Decay nail polish which came in neon and other funky colors. One day, my Spanish teacher Mrs. Petrie, came to class with bright as hell neon yellow fingernail polish. She proudly flaunted her nails to the class and announced that I had inspired her look. We were all shocked and shared a laugh, but I will never forget how happy she was about her nails and how special I felt about being her inspiration.
When you dare to be yourself, you light the way for others. And that’s what I want for you.
Life’s too short for beige energy. Flaunt your quirks.
Where are you still dimming your light to fit in? And what would happen if you let yourself shine, fully and unapologetically?
Glow Tip:
The next time you feel yourself shrinking, pause and ask: “Am I making myself small to keep others comfortable, or am I honoring what feels true for me?”
Choosing yourself in those micro-moments builds unshakable confidence over time.
Pick one quirky thing you’ve been hiding. Maybe it’s your boldest lipstick, your goofy laugh, or the playlist you secretly love and flaunt it today. Each time you choose authenticity over approval, you strengthen your confidence muscle.
Craving deeper?
Dear Radiant Soul,
If you’ve found yourself exhausted from constantly trying to be everything for everyone and always performing, pleasing, and perfecting, I want you to know that you’re not alone, and you don’t have to keep living this way.
In Shine from the Inside! coaching, I guide women just like you through the GLOW Method of coming home to themselves. Together, we gently unravel the patterns of people-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-abandonment that have kept you stuck in cycles of emotional over-functioning and spiritual burnout. This isn’t about fixing you. You were never broken, just dimmed. Let’s turn your light back on. It’s about remembering who you are beneath the masks and the hustle.
The result? Everything shifts. You stop outsourcing your happiness. You stop shrinking to fit into spaces that were never meant for you. You become the woman who walks into a room and doesn’t need anyone’s approval because she already belongs to herself.
If you’re tired of endlessly “working on yourself” and ready to feel radiant, grounded, and free, Shine From the Inside! was created for you.
You deserve to feel whole. You deserve to feel powerful. You deserve to shine.
With love and fire,
Angie
If this resonates, let’s talk. Book your free Glow Up Session today. I’ll help you take the first step back to your radiant, unapologetic self.: https://www.runninginslippers.com/work-with-me
P.S. Remember: the quirks you’re hiding are probably the very things people will love you for. Stop dimming and start shining.
