No More Effing Around: The Decision That Made Me Unstoppable
It Started With a Decision
The first time I truly decided to uplevel my life in a major way was early 2018, when I decided I wanted to move to Hawaii and become a writer.
I had no idea what “being a writer” meant.
I had just completed the Second City Chicago’s sketch comedy writing program, which culminated in a show that was performed on the Second City stage that was written and produced by my graduating class.
My classmates and I were even in the show because the finale scene was a sketch that I had written that ended in a flash mob marriage proposal. We only had six actors, so our director thought it would be fun for the writers to be in the flash mob. Since it was my script, he even let me choreograph the flash mob dance to Bruno Mars’ “Marry You!”
I was a prolific writer as a child, and even through high school, but in college, I studied Finance and then got a job in Corporate America, so any creativity I had was completely stifled. Completing the sketch comedy writing program in my late thirties had rekindled the inner writer inside of me and lit me up so hard that I was determined to do something with my love for writing.
But what?
I also wanted to move to Hawaii.
When I was a little girl, I had a Hawaiian Barbie with hair down to her butt, which started my fascination with Hawaii. As an adult, I had a friend who lived on Oahu for about five years, and I would visit her every year. This further fueled my obsession.
In my mind, “one day” I would move to Hawaii or when the “timing was right.”
After my dad passed away in 2017, I thought a lot about my own morality. The fact that he was only sixty-three years old when he passed made me realize that life is too short to not do what you want to do, the timing is never right, and we aren’t guaranteed the future.
The $100,000 Gap
I didn’t have the financial means to move to Hawaii and maintain the same lifestyle I had in Chicago. Being a finance nerd, I ran the numbers, and to be able to afford a comparable condo in Hawaii, I needed one hundred thousand more dollars than I had.
I wanted to move, but I didn’t want to sacrifice the lifestyle that I had worked so hard for. Downgrading wasn’t an option. I became laser-focused on how I could come up with one hundred thousand dollars.
I didn’t have a step-by-step plan. And I definitely didn’t think it was possible to pull off in less than a year.
But it didn’t matter. Because I had a decision and an intense desire to play at a higher level of life.
Because the moment I moved from wishy-washy, “someday” energy to a very clear “I’m doing this, no matter how difficult or scary” energy, everything shifted, and the path appeared.
The first thing I did was call a realtor in Hawaii. With outward confidence and inward imposter syndrome, I told her that I was moving to Hawaii later that year and gave her my budget, which was the elusive one hundred thousand dollars over my actual budget.
I felt like if I was going to be delusional, I might as well go all in.
Then, I asked my manager if I could work remotely in Hawaii. Keep in mind that this was 2018, so it was basically like asking him if I could work remotely from outer space. It was so outlandish that I had crystal clear visions of him firing me on the spot for being so audacious.
But it was the risk I was willing to take. And if he said no, I was hell-bent on finding a job that would let me work remotely in Hawaii.
He said yes.
When Evidence Started Showing Up
Over the next few months, as I expanded even more in my focus and desire, the path started opening up in ways I had never imagined.
I received an unexpected, larger-than-usual raise and bonus at work. I called a realtor in Chicago and discovered that, despite only owning my condo for four years, it had increased by over thirty thousand dollars in value. I also received some smaller, unexpected income.
When my dad passed away in 2017, he did not have a will, nor did he have much money to his name. His home had a loan on it, and after the sale, the proceeds were to be used to pay off a forty-thousand-dollar credit card debt.
During the entire probate process, I didn’t think I would receive even a penny. But after I sold his home, my estate attorney went to pay off the credit card, and for whatever reason, Chase Bank changed their mind and said they would waive the debt.
The forty thousand dollars that I received from his estate was the last windfall that brought me to one hundred thousand dollars.
In only six months, I had come up with the exact amount that I needed to move to Hawaii.
None of this was luck. It happened because I stopped being available for the version of me that played small. Stepping into that version of me changed how I showed up, and the world responded accordingly.
This is when sh*t got real.
This Is Where Most People Back Out
A huge part of me wanted to chicken out. I had proven that I could do it, but I felt too scared to act. But I was ready to play my life at a higher level, and, like a video game, I knew I had to step up and complete the challenge to reach the next level.
It was terrifying.
There was a lot of uncertainty and second-guessing, but I could feel in my soul that it was the right decision. Anytime I would feel anxiety or fear, I would recalibrate by focusing on the truth, which was that feeling in my soul. I didn’t know what it meant. But I knew it was my intuition, and I trusted it completely.
When I landed in Hawaii after my one-way flight, I felt the trade winds through the open-air walkway of the airport as I looked at the mountains in the sunny, seventy-five-degree November weather and thought:
What was I so afraid of? This is amazing.
People who didn’t know me back then see me as confident, courageous, and adventurous, but that is not who I was in 2018. At that time, moving 4,000 miles from Chicago to Hawaii was the most courageous thing I had ever done.
And it set the tone for the rest of my life.
Because once you prove to yourself that you can do the thing no matter how difficult, scary, or uncomfortable, you become unstoppable.
Identity is the Real Upgrade
Life responds to your identity. When you decide who you are and what you want, and leave no room for any other option, the energy shifts immediately, and you become a magnet for opportunities.
You don’t get the next level until you are willing to become the woman who can hold it.
And the lifestyle upgrade is more than just external. It’s internal. Because when you stop being available for anything less than your heart’s desires:
• You become decisive.
• You don’t explain yourself.
• You trust yourself to navigate the uncertainty.
• You move before you feel ready.
You feel safe in your body because you are no longer betraying yourself.
The Only Questions That Matter
If this hits your soul, you’re just one decision away.
Who are you no longer available to be?
And are you brave enough to act like it?
Glow Tip:
This is something simple you can start implementing in your day-to-day life.
Think of one thing you’ve been saying “someday” about. Maybe it's:
• Launching something.
• Raising your rates.
• Leaving a misaligned relationship.
• Moving cities.
• Having the hard conversation.
Instead of asking, “How would this work?” ask yourself:
Who would I need to become to hold this?
Notice what comes up.
Do you need to be more decisive? More self-trusting? More willing to be misunderstood? More comfortable with uncertainty?
Most people wait for confidence before they act. But confidence is built after you move. You have to show yourself that you are the kind of person who shows up for yourself, no matter how difficult, scary, or uncertain.
So pick one micro action that aligns with the woman who can hold the next level. You don’t need the full plan. You need alignment with the identity.
In my GLOW Method, this is where the L comes in — lighting up your future identity and embodying her now. We don’t wait to feel ready. We calibrate your nervous system to expansion, so action becomes natural instead of terrifying.
Because once your behavior matches the woman you’re becoming, your life has no choice but to adjust.
That’s how you stop playing small. That’s how you close the final 20% between who you are and who you want to be.
And that’s what it means to shine from the inside.
If This Hit, Here’s Your Next Step
Identity Upgrade Series: How to Step Into Your Next Level- New YouTube Playlist!
You don’t need another vision board. You need to stop lying to yourself about who you’re ready to be.
You say you want the next level, but you’re still negotiating your standards, overexplaining yourself to others, and still waiting to “feel ready” (spoiler alert: you may never feel ready, and it’s never the “right time”).
That’s called an identity ceiling.
In The Identity Upgrade Series, I break down moving 4,000 miles away on my own, quitting Corporate America to start from zero, rewiring my nervous system, and stopping shrinking to stay liked.
This isn’t a motivational talk or how things work in theory. These are real-world examples of becoming the woman who can hold power, money, love, and visibility without self-sabotaging it away.
If I can do it, so can you.
You don’t get the next level until you stop performing and start embodying.
If you’re done circling your potential…
🎥 Watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtihsVOp1d0qyHNBokhwbVtwfBTGuZh1L
With Love & Fire,
Angie
Angie Hawkins, The Inner Glow Coach
I help high-functioning women close the final 20% gap between who they are and who they’re meant to be, without self-abandoning in the process.
