Why Everything Falls Apart Right Before Your Next Level

Written By Angie Hawkins

Every time you uplevel, life will test you.

In my life, this has looked like locking my keys in my car while still running, condo flooding, refrigerator dying (twice), washing machine dying, cancelled flights, unexpected surgeries, getting betrayed, and the list goes on and on.

Sometimes I pass by responding to the situation in a new way that’s aligned to the person I want to become and make it to the next level.

Sometimes, I fall back into old patterns, and I repeat the level until I learn the lesson.

I have repeated many levels in my life. I used to be so fragile that any minor inconvenience would send me into a crying ball on the floor. I had chronic, debilitating anxiety, low self-trust, and pretty much zero self-worth, so anything extra on top of my normal existence was too overwhelming.

But over time, as I rekindled my inner glow, my self-trust has become so fierce that I know I can figure anything out. That doesn’t mean that I enjoy uncertainty or that I always know what to do. It means that I trust myself to figure it out.

And you can too.

This week, I am sharing a story and reflection of what this looks like in action. I am in the process of upleveling my life personally and professionally, so it was no surprise that I was hit with a test.

What surprised me was how effortlessly I responded to it.

And you can too.

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I turn the key and there is a pause before the engine roars to life.

This isn’t normal behavior for my car, but not completely alarming because it did turn on.

I don’t have time to deal with this today. I’ll take it somewhere this week.

I have an unwavering Sunday morning routine. I park at Target, a few blocks away from the gym, walk to the gym, work out, walk back to Target to pick up my weekly haul, and then go home.

Today is no different…until I pack my Target bags in the car, get in the driver’s seat, and turn the key.

Nothing.

This isn’t happening. Not today. Not with my cold food that needs refrigeration.

Delusional with denial, I turn the key again.

Nothing.

My heart sinks to my stomach. Old Me would have immediately crumbled. I feel the urge to have an emotional breakdown. I feel the intrusive thoughts coming on.

Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? I can’t handle this right now.

But New Me takes the wheel. Not literally, of course, because my car is dead.

I immediately start compartmentalizing priorities. The first thing I need to do is get home to put my eggs, chicken, and yogurt in the refrigerator. I just bought all of this. I am not going to waste food or money.

I order an Uber. Unfortunately, I am on the second floor of the parking garage, so I have to carry all my groceries to street level to the meeting spot, which is further away than I would prefer, while carrying all of this. But at least I have a ride.

While in the Uber, I think about what to do about my car. In Chicago, I had my good friend Joe and other male friends who could help me in these kinds of situations. Despite living in Hawaii for eight years now, I don’t have many close friends. And I don’t have any close male friends.

Fortunately, I’m smart. I remember that my State Farm car insurance comes with roadside assistance. But I have no idea what it covers or how to use it.

I have a State Farm app on my phone. But I don’t know the password. I feel the urge to have an emotional breakdown in the Uber.

Why does signing on to everything have to be so damn hard?

New Me confidently solves the problem by resetting my password, which is a quick and easy process through my phone, using only the Gmail and State Farm apps.

At home, I immediately put away the food that needs refrigeration. While in the safe space of my home, I feel an intense urge to lie on my bed and have a total emotional breakdown.

Not right now. You can cry when this is all over. Right now, focus.

I Uber back to my car and order roadside assistance through the State Farm app, which is a surprisingly straightforward process. I promptly receive a notification that someone will meet me in 30–60 minutes. I was hoping it would be sooner, but I am so happy that I am finding solutions that I am fine with being patient and waiting.

As a matter of fact, I can use this time to figure out where to take my car.

As suspected, the German auto shop that I normally take my car to is closed on Sundays, as are most other mechanics. But I do find one shop about four miles away with good reviews on Google Maps that is open on Sundays.

I can’t remember the last time I bought a new battery, but I am pretty sure that is the issue and should be an easy fix.

The roadside assistance guy arrives in only twenty minutes and gets me jumped in only a few minutes.

Once my car is running, I know I need to drive it directly to the mechanic. I am not turning it off until it’s in the hands of someone who can change the battery.

As I drive past the mechanic shop, my heart sinks to my stomach again.

It’s closed.

I really want to cry, but I really need to get my car somewhere before it dies. I don’t want to take it to the dealership because I am convinced they will rip me off, but I also know that they will be open on a Sunday.

As I drive to the Volkswagen dealership, I let out a frustrated scream, and it feels good.

The service department is closed, but the nice sales guy shows me how to put my key in the overnight box for the mechanics to find in the morning. He also gives me another jump because I forgot to roll my windows up before turning off the car. Oops.

After Ubering home, I ground in the grass before going upstairs. And at that moment, I give myself permission to finally have an emotional breakdown.

Except, as soon as I lay down, I look up at the sun and see a rainbow around it. I see rainbows all the time, and this is only the third time I have seen a rainbow like this.

A warm feeling comes over my heart, and I no longer feel the need to cry, like Old Me would have. New Me is completely focused on being proud of myself.

I did it! I solved the problem. I am smart and capable.

The rainbow feels like a gold star from the universe.

I was even happier the next day when I found out that the service cost less than I expected.

Also, it turns out that my old battery was seven years old, so I was grateful that it lasted so long.

After returning home safe with my car, I did a happy dance because I passed the test.

I solved the problem intelligently and courageously, like a functional adult, AND I was able to have gratitude for the entire situation because it got me out of my comfort zone. And now, I have a new battery that will hopefully last seven years.

But if it doesn’t, I know what to do.

What test are you in the middle of right now?

The test isn’t about the situation. It’s about who you become from it. Because life is always going to throw things at you. The difference is:

Do you spiral and make it about you and how unfair life is?

Or do you handle it and prove to yourself that you can?

Old Me saw problems that I wasn’t deserving of an easy life, and I couldn’t handle it. New Me sees them as opportunities for becoming even better.

If something in your life feels hard right now or isn’t going according to plan, this is your test to see if you are ready to become the version of yourself that can handle more: more abundance, more money, more love, more connection, more of whatever your heart desires.

Self-trust isn’t built when everything is going right. It’s built when things go wrong, and you handle it anyway.

This isn’t always easy, but once you realize this, everything stops feeling like a problem and starts feeling like proof that you are ready for your next level.

Life tests you to see if you can hold more. And you can.

Next level here we come!

(P.S. If you are ready to uplevel your Identity, then I have something special in the works!)

Glow Tip:

Notice the next time something doesn’t go according to plan or feels inconvenient, frustrating, or “why is this happening to me?”

Maybe it’s:
• Something breaking, going wrong, or falling through at the worst time
• A plan gets disrupted when you “don’t have time for this”
• An unexpected problem that feels overwhelming or unfair
• The immediate urge to spiral, shut down, or avoid dealing with it

Before reacting, pause. And ask yourself:

Is this happening to me, or is this preparing me for something?

Because life is always going to throw things at you. The question is not if it happens. It’s who you become when it does.

Instead of going straight into stress or frustration, try this:

Handle the situation like the version of you who already trusts herself.

I’m not asking you to be perfect. I am asking you to be intentional: make the call, find the solution, or be resourceful

Self-trust isn’t built when everything is easy. It’s built when you prove to yourself that you can figure things out, no matter how difficult, uncertain, or even painful.

This is the shift from feeling like life is working against you to realizing it’s expanding your capacity for more.

And when you start responding this way, problems stop feeling like setbacks and start feeling like proof that you’re ready for your next level.

And that’s what it means to shine from the inside.

Are you Ready for Your Next Level?

I’ve been working on something behind the scenes, and it’s for the woman who knows she’s meant for more but can feel she’s not fully there yet.

It’s centered around one thing: an abundant life.

Not just money. Not just mindset. Money and fulfillment. Because what’s the point of having money or external success if your life doesn’t actually feel good?

The Identity Upgrade is about stepping into the most abundant version of yourself:

• Become BFFs with money, with a budget that actually works, savings growing quietly in the background, and feeling deserving about spending on what lights you up
• Receive and circulate money from abundance instead of scarcity so that your decisions aren’t driven by fear or guilt
• Make decisions in hours, not months, and own your desires without grasping for permission
• Effortlessly maintain a deep sense of fulfillment and inner peace, even when life isn’t perfect (spoiler alert: it never is)
• Unlock radiance as your new baseline (where dance parties in your kitchen are the norm on a random Wednesday night)

Because abundance is about how you show up every single day.

If you’ve been feeling that quiet pull, like you’re ready for more in your life and your money, then this is for you.

I’m opening this up soon, starting with a small, intentional group.

👉 Click here to join the VIP waitlist and be the first to know when it drops:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe2ojLWyvC4sUARxzEJrV8mZ25A1vpgL8ES7Bo2DwrT5H6npQ/viewform?usp=header

Want to Go Deeper?

Inside the playlist, you’ll learn how to:
• Break out of the comparison trap and stop chasing a life that only looks good
• Identify the fear-based beliefs that are quietly running your decisions
• Stop people-pleasing and build self-trust strong enough to disappoint others without abandoning yourself
• Understand why you feel stuck, numb, or disconnected, even when life seems “fine”
• Expand your identity instead of shrinking yourself to fit expectations
• Redefine success on your own terms and build a life that actually feels good
• Fully express yourself without filtering who you are

Because growth is about becoming the woman who is fully expressed and doesn’t give a sh*t what other people think of it.

If your life looks good on paper but doesn’t feel good, this series is for you.

Your next level starts when you stop following rules that were never meant for you.

👉Against the Grain Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtihsVOp1d0ootxpHo-CZYXq96CfCHj65

With Love & Fire,

Angie

Angie Hawkins is the Inner Glow Coach who transforms ambitious, self-aware women from settling for a life that looks good on paper to living one that actually feels good, from the inside out.

She works with women who’ve done the therapy, read the books, and tried the spiritual path but are still stuck between knowing and real change. Through nervous system healing and identity recalibration, she helps them build fierce self-trust so they can finally make the bold moves they’ve been talking themselves out of.

She is the author of Running in Slippers, a raw and vulnerable memoir about finding resilience after emotional rock bottom.

Angie has moved from Chicago to Hawaii on her own, jumped out of a helicopter and into the ocean Navy SEAL-style, bungee jumped, skydived, and cliff jumped, yet is still terrified about allowing herself to be seen.

Explore more of Angie’s work at https://www.innerglowbyangie.com/, including her memoir Running in Slippers and her The Identity Upgrade coaching program.

Angie Hawkins
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How to Stop Resisting Change & Start Creating a Life That Actually Feels Right