The Boldest Person at the Beach Wasn’t Who I Expected. And That Was the Lesson.
On Playing at 80% and the Boldness Required to Fully Glow
Recently, I was walking home after a surfing session. My mind was racing with thoughts of taking a warm shower, my to-do list, and everything I had to get done before the end of the day.
Then, a man with a homeless aesthetic interrupted my hectic thoughts.
“I’m giving out free massages. Would you like one?”
Are you kidding me?
I was so stunned and simultaneously appalled that I didn’t even break my Chicagoan walking pace. By the time my brain processed what happened, I passed him. Which was for the best because the only response I could think of wasn’t very friendly.
But my next immediate thought was unexpected.
Wow, I’m impressed.
I thought I was triggered because had the audacity to think that I might even be remotely interested in his hands on my body, but once I was honest with myself, I realized I was more triggered by his boldness.
Because he put himself out there and did the bold thing. He wasn’t afraid to openly ask a question that had a high probability of rejection. He had probably already gotten rejected many times that day. And he was probably going to continue asking people that same question until he got a yes.
Underneath the ego flare that he didn’t recognize me as a woman of value who would never let some yahoo off the street put their hands on me, I felt another emotion.
Jealousy.
As a small business owner who relies on visibility to attract new clients, there have been many times when I haven’t put myself out there. I haven’t asked the question, especially if it had a high probability of rejection. I have let rejections take me out of the game for a day or two. I have been doubtful if the next yes would come along.
He was bolder than me.
I turned envy into an opportunity for inspiration.
What if we just did the thing, no matter how outrageous or outlandish?
What if we asked the bold question and didn’t care how many times we heard the word no?
What if we had delusional belief in ourselves?
This man wasn’t just offering free massages. He was the inspiration I didn’t realize I needed.
And he was a pattern interrupt to my hyper-productive, Chicago-hustle, don’t-make-eye-contact rhythm. After he spoke to me, I was forced to slow down and reflect on how his boldness was a mirror to me because I aspire to move through life with that same level of audacity.
Inspiration doesn’t always arrive polished and aligned. Sometimes it shows up rough around the edges, interrupting your momentum just long enough to show you where you’re still playing at 80%. And if you’re willing to look deeper, it hands you exactly the lesson your next level requires.
And the lesson was simple: Be outlandishly bold.
We are unavailable for playing small anymore.
Glow Tip:
This is something simple you can start implementing in your day-to-day life.
Think of one place where you hesitate to be boldly visible. Maybe it’s:
• Posting the thought you think is “too much” or cringy.
• Pitching yourself before you feel fully ready.
• Raising your rates.
• Sending the bold DM.
• Saying what you actually want instead of what sounds safe.
• Asking the question that could result in a no.
Instead of asking, “What if they reject me?” ask yourself:
What would the 100% version of me do here?
Notice what comes up. Are you more afraid of rejection or being seen? Do you hesitate? Overthink? Tell yourself you need more credentials?
You have to show yourself that you are the kind of woman who can risk the no and make moves anyway.
Pick one action that aligns with the bold version of you and do it. Maybe you hit publish, send the message, make the offer, or stop over-editing yourself mid-sentence.
This is about who you become in the process. The goal is to become the woman who feels the fear and does it anyway.
That’s how you stop playing small and close the final 20% between who you are and who you want to be.
And that’s what it means to shine from the inside.
