Goose-Down Coat and the Decision That Moved Me to Hawaii
In early 2017, my boyfriend broke up with me for someone else, and shortly thereafter, my dad passed away. I was 37 years old and had spent every single one of those years running away from my feelings because the underlying shame and belief that I didn’t deserve to be loved was too painful to acknowledge. But with two grief-triggering events so close together, the floodgates opened, and I was forced to face my feelings. I spent the remainder of the year feeling like a hopeless zombie because I didn’t know anything about emotional regulation, and I didn’t understand that a different way of living, or even being happy, was available to me.
In early 2018, I was sick and tired and being sick and tired. I knew I wanted to change my life but didn’t know what those changes looked like. So, I intentionally took time to think about what my ideal life entailed. The year before I took the sketch comedy writing program at The Second City Chicago which rekindled the love for writing I had a little girl. And early 2018 was winter in Chicago so I was growing weary of the brutally cold and windy winters. After some consideration about what would make my life happy and fulfilling, I decided that I wanted to move to Hawaii and be a writer. It felt like a midlife crisis pipe dream, and I had no idea how I was going to pull it off with a corporate job living in Chicago, but it didn’t matter.
Because the moment I made the decision, I crossed the threshold from wishy-washy, “someday” thinking to “I am ready to play my life at a higher level, and I am going to move to Hawaii and be a writer, no matter how difficult or scary.”
Because I didn’t know what the first step was, I went to a motivational seminar to get a kick in the butt to figure out the plan. Following is an excerpt from Chapter 9 of Running in Slippers that describes the event:
“Hi, I’m Angie.”
“Hi, Angie! I’m Sheila. What brings you to the event?
What? Why is she interrogating me before I’ve had a chance to take off my coat?
“I’m making some changes in my life and need some motivation to implement them.”
“Great! What kind of changes?”
Why is she putting me on the spot right now?
“I think I want to start a writing project, but I don’t know if I have the courage to do it.”
I also want to move to Hawaii, but I'm way too embarrassed to admit that to you right now.
“Awesome! How did you hear about the event?
Why are we doing this? Shouldn’t this be part of group introductions?
“Um, I don’t know. Google?”
There is an awkward pause. It’s roasting in here with the fireplace blazing, and this conversation feels too forced. I am so socially and physically uncomfortable that I can’t stand it. Before the sweat starts soaking through my clothes, I need to take off my eight hundred and fifty-fill goose-down, ankle-length coat.
“Let me take your coat.”
Finally!
Sheila hangs up my coat and finally accepts me into the kitchen island audience. There are two young ladies at the far end, who seem to be about my age, two ladies in the middle, who seem to be my mother’s age, and then me. Oh, and of course, the two elderly people sitting behind us. And there is a really good-looking, muscular guy in the kitchen, who seems to be one of the speakers. And that’s it. This is the motivational seminar. Five attendees, two mystery, elderly attendees, and two speakers. And everyone else is in pairs, so I feel like a third wheel for all four pairs. I would love to get the hell out of here right now, but with such a small crowd, I would feel awkward getting up and leaving. It might offend Sheila.
The seminar begins. Sheila and Shane, the good-looking, fit guy, introduce themselves, and then we start going around the room to make introductions. There are hors d'oeuvres on the island, and the two ladies sitting next to me crunch away the entire time, which is audibly offensive. The two young ladies on the end start speaking. There is Lori, a spinning and yoga instructor, and her friend Jenny, an esthetician. Lori is cute with short, curly, brown hair and bright pink lipstick, and Jenny is blonde with a much more Plain Jane look. Lori tells us that she is going to a motivational seminar in Denver in May with Tony Robbins and Gary Vee. I don’t want to interrupt her, but I can’t help myself. “Wait, Tony Robbins and Gary Vee are going to be at the same event?”
“Yeah!” She gives me the details. After Jenny introduces herself, we move down to the two ladies sitting beside me, still stuffing their faces with crunchy food. It turns out these guests are Sheila’s mom and her friend.
Are you kidding me? She couldn’t fill enough seats and had to get pity attendees?
Even worse, the elderly couple behind us are Sheila’s grandparents. This means that there are only three real attendees, including myself.
What did I get myself into?
Then, they get to me. With outward confidence and inward shame, I explain that I am trying to get over my fears and figure out what I want to do with my life. The huge entertainment room is quiet, except for the fireplace's crackling and me talking about how I want to be a writer, but I don’t know how to start. I don’t feel comfortable talking in front of people, even in this small of a crowd.
Can we please just start the event so I can get motivated already?
Spoiler alert—I was not motivated by this seminar. But it didn’t matter. It got me to the Denver seminar with Tony Robbins and Gary Vee, and I even met Tony Robbins and shook his hand. THAT event gave me the motivation to ask my manager if I could work remotely in Hawaii at a time when remote work was not the trendy thing to do.
Because when you choose to uplevel into a new version of yourself, life responds. Paths appear. People show up. Possibilities unfold. Not because it’s easy, but because you finally decided you’re worth it.
We hesitate not because we’re broken, but because we’ve forgotten our power. As Tony Robbins says, “It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.”
So here’s your invitation: Make the decision. Say yes to the life that’s been quietly waiting for you. Don’t wait for the perfect plan. Just start. Your breakthrough begins the moment you stop waiting and choose to rise.
Glow Tip:
How to Make Decisions When You Don’t Trust Yourself
When fear and uncertainty cloud your clarity, don’t wait for full confidence. Reach for curiosity. Instead of asking, “What if I fail?” ask, “What might I learn?” Start small. Choose one tiny action that aligns with the life you want, not the one you’re afraid of. Then, honor that choice like it matters because it does.
Confidence isn’t a prerequisite for decision-making. It’s the result of showing up for yourself, one brave choice at a time.
You don’t need to be fearless. You just need to be willing.
Craving deeper?
Dear Radiant Soul,
If you’ve found yourself exhausted from constantly trying to be everything for everyone and always performing, pleasing, and perfecting, I want you to know that you’re not alone, and you don’t have to keep living this way.
In Shine From the Inside! coaching, I guide women just like you through the GLOW Method of coming home to themselves. Together, we gently unravel the patterns of people-pleasing, perfectionism, and self-abandonment that have kept you stuck in cycles of emotional over-functioning and spiritual burnout. This isn’t about fixing you. You were never broken, just dimmed. Let’s turn your light back on. It’s about remembering who you are beneath the masks and the hustle.
The result? Everything shifts. You stop outsourcing your happiness. You stop shrinking to fit into spaces that were never meant for you. You become the woman who walks into a room and doesn’t need anyone’s approval because she already belongs to herself.
If you’re tired of endlessly “working on yourself” and ready to feel radiant, grounded, and free, Shine From the Inside! was created for you.
You deserve to feel whole. You deserve to feel powerful. You deserve to shine.
With love and fire,
Angie
End-of-Summer Glow-Up August 2025 Promotion:
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